Storm Stories: How We Bear One Another’s Burdens

How we show the heart of God by being present in people’s pain and listening to each other’s stories.

It’s the kind of thing you never forget, right? The storm stories. You never forget them. 

The disciples never forgot the storm on the lake, nor the One who calmed the storm (Mark 4). They also never forgot the teaching of Jesus about the two builders and the storms that crushed the home of one and not the other. A beautiful life is one built on the firm foundation of God’s Word and faithfulness, designed to withstand the storms that come— but not immune from them. (Read the parable of the two builders in Matthew 7 and Luke 6). 

The storm stories coming out of Texas are harrowing. They are stories we will never forget. The stories of decisions made in a moment that have eternal consequences. Stories of survival and stories of being unable to save those who were caught in the torrent of the raging river. They are stories you feel in your heart and gut. They are stories that generate a sensory response— turning stomachs, aching hearts, producing tears. 

We close our eyes and wring our hands and fall to our knees. They are stories that break us and they are stories that inspire us. Storm stories. We all have them and now is the time to invite one another to tell those stories. Why? Because the trigger has already been pulled and people need to have the opportunity for release. 

So, what’s your storm story? Was it a flood or a fire, an accident or cancer? How did you survive? Who responded to your cries for help? How did you take the first step in recovery? How do you feel now about what happened then? 

We need to sit together and hear one another’s stories. Why, you ask? Because we need to be reminded that there is redemption, that we are resilient, that the fog lifts, the sun rises and fresh breezes blow. We need to be reminded that seasons persist and life goes on. Different, yes, but life. Limping, yes, but life. 

Some have asked in recent days how to know what to say when they feel like they should say something but don’t want to say the wrong thing. Here’s my counsel: 

1. Show up because showing up matters. If you can’t show up personally, show up by calling or texting. Incarnation matters. People need to know they’re thought of and that they’re not alone in the midst of the storm – or in the aftermath of the storm. Jesus showed up and in the Spirit of Jesus, we show up.  The atmosphere changes when you walk in because you are a person possessed of the Holy Spirit of the living God. When you show up, God shows up. Never underestimate the importance of that truth.  
2. Sit still. You are a person under the authority of the Prince of Peace. So, be a person of peace. Speak peace. Sit in peace. Sow peace. Make peace. Let the peace of Christ, which surpasses all understanding, rule your heart and flow through your spirit. The enemy is seeking to sow chaos, discord and division. You are there to fight the battle for Peace— in peace, through prayer.  
3. Pray without ceasing. You do not have the words, so don’t say anything out loud. But never stop talking with God throughout the experience. God knows everything about the suffering person you are there to love on His behalf.  Ask God to help you tend tenderly to the precious soul to whom He has sent you as His agent of grace. 
4. When the door of opportunity for conversation opens, ask open ended questions: 
   1. Tell me how you’re connected to all this (whatever “this” is)?  
   2. What did you experience? What was that like? What are you feeling now?  
   3. I imagine you have a lot of questions. What are you wondering? What do you fear? What are you afraid of? 
   4. And then, after you’ve plumbed the depths of the story, ask, “How can I help?”  
5. The goal is not to speak but to listen. Be a safe person. You’re not there to defend God or announce what the Bible says about doubt or fear or anything else. You’re not there to make theological pronouncements. You’re there to love and listen and hold and serve. I recommend getting outside and taking a walk as you create space for them to wander around in their thoughts, feelings, fears, regrets, guilt, doubt, relief, joy and pain. 
6. If you’re tempted to compete by offering your own story, STOP. This is not about you. Instead of offering your own story, ask more about their story. My go-to is simply, “Tell me more.” There are a hundred ways to ask it: “That’s really interesting, tell me more. That sounds really difficult, tell me more. That sounds frightening, tell me more. I can’t imagine how that must have felt, tell me more. What happened next? Tell me more…”
7. Finally, stay as long as is appropriate but don’t overstay your welcome. Make a follow up plan and encourage movement to the next thing. “Let’s get some lunch. Let’s go to the mailbox and get the mail. Let’s clean up this kitchen. Let’s walk the dog.” When possible, do not offer to do it FOR them. Do it WITH them. They will take one positive step out of the storm and back into the reality of life. And then after the first step, take another. 

I encourage you to journal and talk with someone else about your own storm stories today. What are the storms you have weathered? What’s your survival story? Events like the one unfolding in Texas right now trigger the stories we all have of past traumas. You need to be able to release that once it’s triggered. So, tell me your story. I’d love to hear it.